Along with everything else that Valentine’s Day is promoted to be, it is also considered a day of love. At least that is what the greeting card companies would have us believe.
However, here it is not any love we are talking about. The emphasis on this particular date, which falls on the month of February, is on romantic love. You know, the kind that Shakespeare made famous in his play ‘Love’s Labour’s Lost’. But the importance, understandably, is for prospective lovers to find love, and not to lose it.
So, how does one encounter it? Romantic love, that is. And where exactly does one go looking for it?
When King Charles was asked if he was in love, soon after his engagement to Lady Diana, he said, “of course, whatever love means”! That ambivalent answer was a sort of precursor to their unhappy marriage, and left his future bride, as well as countless psychoanalysts, totally flummoxed.
Meanwhile, if one searches through some of the best-selling musical albums worldwide, one will find strange lyrics like “what’s love got to do with it, what’s love but a second-hand emotion”, by Tina Turner, or “what is love, baby don’t hurt me, don’t hurt me, no more”, by singer Haddaway. This number, when released by the artist in 1993, resonated with so many people that it broke all records in global sales.
But then, does romantic love always hurt? C. S. Lewis, the acclaimed novelist, poet and academic said in his book The Four Loves: “There is no safe investment. To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly be broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness”.
Right! Therefore, is the entire exercise of falling in love undertaken only to experience heartbreak? If so, which kinds of people celebrate love? Why is it that the entire world loves a lover? Where are people lucky in love found? What sustains romantic love? How does love conquer all? When does one identify that one is in love?
I remember putting my mother through all these queries. “You will just know it when the right man comes around”, she would reply in her most placid voice. “How will I recognize him?”, I would persist. “Are there any signs to look for?” I would prod. But my subsequent probing would be clubbed together under the same stoic response.
All along I never got around to analysing it, but this Valentine’s Day, I thought I might as well corner my spouse of over 30 years.
“When did you know I was the right person for you?” I asked him over breakfast.
“Yes dear”, he mumbled, from behind the newspaper.
“When exactly”, I repeated.
“No dear”, he replied.
“You never listen to me”, I said pushing my chair away.
“From the very first moment I saw you. You were wearing turquoise dungarees and a bright yellow shirt and silver bangles from your wrist till your elbows. You looked like an elf on a shelf, and I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you”, he said with twinkling eyes, lowering the paper.
“Love, actually?” said the voice in my head.
By Nickunj Malik
|| features@portugalresident.com
Nickunj Malik’s journalistic career began when she walked into the office of Khaleej Times newspaper in Dubai thirty-one years ago and got the job. Since then, her articles have appeared in various newspapers all over the world. She now resides in Portugal and is married to a banker who loves numbers more than words.
