Most adults use primitive and less primitive defence mechanisms. While these may work for a while, they are defence mechanisms, not coping strategies.
Unfortunately, defence mechanisms are all the go now; everyone’s using them. Not a lot of real coping going on, so I hope these will help, inform and guide you. Less primitive defence mechanisms are a step up from primitive defence mechanisms. Part 1 was all about primitive defence mechanisms; today, we’ll see how far we get with less primitive and mature defence mechanisms.
Repression: This is when we unconsciously block unacceptable or distressing thoughts, feelings or memories; we force them out of our conscious awareness. The key to repression is that we do this unconsciously, so we have very little control over it. We do this when we need to cope with traumatic and difficult experiences.
Displacement: The redirecting of our emotions and impulses from a threatening recipient to a safer or non-threatening one. We use displacement when we cannot express our feelings for fear of repercussions. The classical example is the husband who gets angry at his boss but can’t express his anger and instead goes home, kicks the dog or starts an argument with his wife. The anger is expressed, but its mismanagement causes more stressors that will need to be dealt with.
Intellectualisation: When we intellectualise, rather than dealing with painful emotions, we overemphasise the intellectual or rational view of a situation. Example: A person who has just been given a terminal medical diagnosis focuses on the details of ineffective medical procedures instead of expressing their sadness and grief. We distance ourselves from the emotional or personal impact of a situation.
Rationalisation: This involves putting something into a different context or offering a different explanation for our reality. We create logical or socially accepted explanations for our behaviours or thoughts that are motivated by irrational or unacceptable justifications. Example: A woman dating a man she really, really likes is suddenly dumped by him, for no reason. To comfort herself, she rationalises the breakup with the thought, “I suspected he was a loser all along.”
Undoing: Undoing involves taking back or reversing unacceptable or hurtful actions, thoughts or feelings by doing the opposite. Example: A husband who feels guilty about lying to his wife buys her flowers, praises her beauty and intellect. He over-compensates to undo the damage he’s done.
While less primitive defence mechanisms do little to resolve underlying stressors, mature defence mechanisms focus on helping us be more constructive, however, they’re still not coping strategies. They are psychological strategies used to manage stressors and emotions in a healthier way. However, they require lots of practice and effort. People with these defence mechanisms tend to be more at peace with themselves and others.
Sublimation: This is simply the channelling of unacceptable impulses, thoughts and emotions into socially acceptable activities. Refocusing our unacceptable impulses and emotions into productive and constructive things helps us channel energy that otherwise would be used to cause more stressors. Example: disruptive anger issues could be focused on intensive exercise. We can also use humour to channel negative thoughts, impulses and emotions into light-hearted stories or jokes. Fantasy can also be used to channel unacceptable or unattainable desires into imagination. Example: imagining our ultimate career goals can help us focus on the positive when we experience setbacks in work or education. Sublimation helps us explore possibilities not previously explored and reframe difficult situations we’re faced with.
Compensation: This is one of my favourites. It’s the process of psychologically counterbalancing perceived weaknesses by emphasising strength in other arenas. By focusing on our strengths, we recognise we cannot be strong at all things and in all areas of our lives. For instance, when someone says “I may not know how to cook, but I can sure do the dishes”, they’re trying to compensate for their lack of cooking skills by emphasizing their cleaning skills instead. When done appropriately by not attempting to over-compensate, this is the defence mechanism that helps reinforce our self-esteem and self-image.
Assertiveness: I don’t see assertiveness as a defence mechanism; I see it more as a skill. However, there is something to be said for adding it to the list of mature defence mechanisms. Assertiveness is a communication style that emphasises our needs or thoughts in a manner that is respectful, direct and firm. Communication styles exist on a continuum, ranging from passive to aggressive. Assertiveness falls in-between. People who are passive and communicate in a passive manner tend to be good listeners, but rarely speak up for themselves or their own needs in a relationship. People who are aggressive and communicate in an aggressive manner tend to be good leaders but are not capable of listening empathetically to other people’s ideas and needs. People who are assertive strike a balance where they can speak up for themselves, express their opinions or needs, in a respectful yet firm manner, and listen when they are being spoken to. Learning to be more assertive is one of the most desired communication skills and helpful mature defence mechanisms most people want to learn and would benefit from.
Humour: I see humour more as a skill than a mature defence mechanism, but again, I have no problems adding it to this list. You see, when we use humour, we paint a picture of both sides; we evaluate, analyse and conclude with laughter. When we laugh, we lower stress hormone levels. Humour is linked to emotional intelligence; it helps us maintain positive intentions and reduces our emotional response to the stressor, without altering our reality.
Even though some defence mechanisms may be considered helpful, if used excessively, they hinder personal growth and our self-awareness. We need self-awareness if we’re going to control chronic stress hormone levels. Emotional intelligence and defence mechanisms are interlinked. Both affect how we manage and perceive our stressors and respond to our emotions. So, how many defence mechanisms do you recognise? Be honest.
By Joan Maycock
Joan Maycock MSc Health Psychologist specialised in stress and burnout education, designing, setting up and presenting Stress and Burnout Educational Retreats, Workshops and 1 on 1 sessions for private and corporate groups in Ireland and Portugal.
Tel: 00 351 915 793 592 | Email: eirinnretreats@gmail.com
