I must confess that every now and then, at certain times of the year, there are more male individuals living in my home than female ones. Which is not necessarily a bad thing, but I have noticed that, whenever this happens, I get interrupted so frequently while articulating my thoughts that I am compelled to lapse into complete silence.
However, this leads to accusations of me being too thin-skinned or overtly sensitive. But several studies have examined this masculine trait and come to the obvious conclusion that men do interrupt women. Endlessly!
So, why do they do that? Interrupt a talking woman, that is? According to world-renowned gender communication expert Deborah Tannen, “men speak to determine and achieve authority as well as status, but women talk to regulate connection. Given that, in society, speaking is considered a position of power, it is no wonder that men interrupt, to take the floor more often. In using conversation to enhance connection, women are much less likely to interrupt, as it is seen as disrespectful”.
Right! Therefore, to try and disentangle the relationship between gender, status and interrupting, Tonja Jacobi and Dylan Schweers at Pritzker School of Law in Chicago took their research to the US Supreme Court, in a manner of speaking.
By documenting court hearings, they found that interrupting was indeed highly gendered, regardless of whether a woman was in a more senior role or not.
Male justices interrupted female justices three times as often as the reverse, and female justices were also interrupted three times more by male lawyers arguing the cases, despite clear rules against doing so.
“Even when women reach such a high pinnacle in their profession, they are interrupted by men, not only their colleagues, but also their explicit subordinates,” said Jacobi.
Conversely, the question is, how should womankind deal with interruptions? There are numerous suggestions tabulated by expert sociologists, but the best one I found is this – simply keep talking. In other words, what is proposed is that women talkers should continue to speak.
They can perhaps be courteous and say to the interrupter, ‘one moment’, and finish their thought. Or they may carry on talking as if they have not heard the interruption.
This might seem combative, but if other people are listening, they will appreciate the persistence of the talking ladies. The goal is not to interrupt the interrupter with anger but to be firm, polite and hold one’s ground with the right tone and body language, which is apparently more effective than saying “shut up, let us talk”.
Having gathered all this knowledge in theory, I was eager to put it into practice. While reading the newspaper the next morning, I got my chance.
“The weather report today says,” I started saying.
“Are you coming for a walk?” my husband interrupted.
“The report says rain is predicted so we should”, I continued.
“Where are the car keys?” my brother asked.
“We should,” I tried to hold my ground.
“My socks have not dried,” my father-in-law complained.
“One minute, let me finish,” I said in a firm voice and held up my hand to emphasize the point.
There was pin drop silence as three confused faces looked at me in astonishment.
“We should carry umbrellas if we are going for a walk,” I articulated clearly.
“Why didn’t you simply say so?” said my husband.
“I was doing,” I began clarifying.
“Just say so,” two other male voices interrupted in unison.
By Nickunj Malik
|| features@portugalresident.com
Nickunj Malik’s journalistic career began when she walked into the office of Khaleej Times newspaper in Dubai thirty-one years ago and got the job. Since then, her articles have appeared in various newspapers all over the world. She now resides in Portugal and is married to a banker who loves numbers more than words.
