Honestly, Americans are starting to worry me. I suspect recent events will create more of what I have referred to as ‘emotional refugees’ (to knowing nods) fleeing the other side of the Atlantic for this one.
Enraged Democrats (how do I know they are Democrats? They tell me!) openly declare their antipathy for Republicans. And Republicans, usually slower to be forthright but brutally forthright nonetheless, also gladly share their animosity for the other.
What do they have in common? They are both, all, coming here. And get this: they are coming here to get away from each other. I dare say, therefore, you’ll appreciate the problem with this strategy, whatever your nationality or country of origin.
Now, you may feel I am unfairly picking on migrants from the USA. And in my defence, I will say I merely make mention of their awkward predicament by way of an introduction to the star of my column this week.
He, Phil Cooklin, has some great advice for those heading here from the “land of the free and home of the brave”; in fact, sagely wisdom for ALL humans, who might be putting ideology before humanity.
Don’t get me wrong. Truly, some of my best friends are American, especially the ones who, like the Portuguese seem to do, see a human before they see a bunch of judgements. They connect, human to human. And it’s thereafter that they decide whether you are their ‘cup of tea’ (or ‘cup of Joe’, in their parlance), moving on, if necessary, without taking offence and living whilst letting others do the same.
These are my ‘fellow Americans’ who, just like the Portuguese generally seem to do, live by the Golden Rule and find enough to enjoy and deal with in an average day, without making extra enemies or poking their nose into others’ lives and lifestyles.
Not American, nor Portuguese, though well connected to the best of both cultures in my experience of him, is British Phil, whose dreams of moving to Portugal were fuelled during the pandemic time by my own Good Morning Portugal! podcast.
Now well and truly a resident here, he and life partner Kimberley, AKA ‘Lady K’, are exceptional people whose love and life story can be of great inspiration to anyone with an open mind and heart.
“It’s fair to say, no dating site would ever have matched us in a million years as our backgrounds and lifestyles were so different!” they say, “but our paths crossed, we made each other laugh, and so started a life-changing journey together.”
This journey involved a campervan called ‘Tut’, which brought them to Central Portugal, along with Joey the Bichon Frise dog, where they found “a beautiful piece of heaven with stunning views and four acres of land.”
When I spoke to Phil recently, the process of transforming their old stone barn was coming along beautifully, something they’d “longed to do one day”, but “it all happened much faster with our ‘Infinite Possibilities’ approach to life.”
The ‘Infinite Possibilities’ approach is something Phil and Lady K discovered in a book of the same name by Mike Dooley, one of the stars of ‘The Secret’, a DVD that did the rounds in personal development circles nearly 20 years ago.
“He believes thoughts become things, so choose the good ones!” Phil reminded me. “It’s pretty much how I live my life, and it works for me.”
Having both worked closely with Mike Dooley for the last few years, enriching their own understanding and practice, as well as helping others to do the same, Phil recently decided to launch his own motivational support service from the middle-of-nowhere in Portugal.
Named ‘Phil My Cup’, and listened to in the US, Europe and as far away as New Zealand, this marvellous man records and publishes a daily message on WhatsApp – “a refreshing shot of positivity from me to you, delivered to your phone each weekday morning,” as he describes it.
“How you start your day is how you end your day,” explains Phil. “In a world that can feel weighed down with negativity and challenges, it can be tough at times to start each day feeling happy and optimistic. But when you start happier, your day invariably turns out better.”
Furthermore, he says: “Phil My Cup is not just a clever play on words. It’s an approach to life that helps you cultivate a growth mindset and view your life as a cup that’s always (at least) half full to overflowing.”
The idea began when Phil started sending friends encouraging voice messages when attending a conference together. They loved them and didn’t want them to stop. A man by the name of Matthew would overhear them as his wife listened daily.
Post-conference, Phil was bowled over to receive a message himself: “I can’t tell you how much I miss your morning messages. They were positively brilliant and, through osmosis, always put me in a brighter mood. How about a daily service of your unshakeable optimism, delivered by phone each morning?”
The rest, as they say, is history, and Phil now does exactly that, as he and Kimberley “live as they dream”, which is how they sum up their approach to life, lived magically near Monsanto – “the most Portuguese of Portuguese villages”.
And what in conclusion does a man so unusually positive, and so supportive of others, have to say about the state of the world right now?
“We live in some funny times, don’t we?” I asked him in our recent and inspiring exchange, adding: “There’s no harm in us all living as we dream. But how might we do that? What world might we dream of together and how might we go about that on a practical level?”
“Well, I do believe passionately you have to just reach out and give to others what you would like to receive for yourself. It’s not much harder than that, is it?” he asked with devastating simplicity.
“If you look at all of the major religions, all of them without exception, (they) have that as a doctrine. I mean, Lord only knows how it gets twisted so that we end up fighting, and in wars, and lying, and cheating, and stealing, and behaving dishonourably. That’s not the individuals I meet on a daily basis,” he continued with disarming clarity.
Together, we giggled, thinking there might only be a tiny minority of such awful individuals on the planet, who just get more than their fair share of publicity and attention.
And then, as if that wasn’t enough, he concluded our conversation with words I encourage all new arrivals in Portugal to remember, such that we might continue to put humanity before ideology …
“Let’s just be lovely to each other,” he said.
Sign up for Phil’s daily cupful of warmth, inspiration and loveliness at www.philmycup.com
By Carl Munson
Carl Munson is host of the Good Morning Portugal! show every weekday on YouTube and creator of www.learnaboutportugal.com, where you can learn something new about Portugal every day!
