In the timeless verses of Portia Nelson’s poem, “There’s a Hole in My Sidewalk: The Romance of Self-Discovery,” we embark on a journey of introspection and growth. Through the metaphor of a deep hole in the sidewalk, Nelson captures the essence of human experience – the inevitability of stumbling into familiar traps, the struggle to break free from destructive patterns, and the triumph of self-awareness.
“I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I fall in.
I am lost… I am helpless.
It isn’t my fault.
It takes forever to find a way out.
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don’t see it.
I fall in again.
I can’t believe I am in the same place.
But, it isn’t my fault.
It still takes me a long time to get out.
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there.
I still fall in. It’s a habit.
My eyes are open.
I know where I am.
It is my fault. I get out immediately.
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.
I walk down another street.”
Portia Nelson.
As Portugal celebrated 50 years of freedom, just some days ago, it serves as a poignant reminder of the importance of learning from history. Just as Nelson’s protagonist falls into the same hole time and again, humanity risks repeating past mistakes if we fail to heed the lessons of the past. Freud termed this phenomenon the ´repetition compulsion´—a subconscious drive to reenact familiar patterns in the hopes of altering the outcome, only to find ourselves ensnared in the same predicament.
The ongoing conflict between Israel and Palestine exemplifies history repeating itself, with cycles of violence and failed peace negotiations mirroring past struggles. Despite decades of international efforts to broker peace, the core issues remain unresolved, perpetuating a cycle of conflict and suffering for both sides.
To err is human, but to recognize and rectify our mistakes is the essence of wisdom. Mark Twain once observed, “History never repeats itself, but it does often rhyme.” As heads of state gather to mark historic milestones, they must listen closely to the echoes of history and strive to avoid the discordant notes of the past.
But why do we find it so challenging to learn from our mistakes? The psychology of human behavior offers insights into our propensity for repetition. Our brains are wired to create shortcuts, or heuristics, to navigate the complexities of the world. These mental shortcuts, while efficient, can also lead us astray, trapping us in familiar patterns of behavior and thought.
From confirmation bias to familiarity bias, our cognitive processes are riddled with inherent biases that perpetuate our mistakes. Even when confronted with evidence of our failures, we are often reluctant to acknowledge them, preferring to protect our egos and cling to familiar narratives.
Consider a person who consistently arrives late to appointments. Despite the inconvenience it causes, they continue to repeat this behavior. Their brain has formed a shortcut, or heuristic, that prioritizes tasks or distractions over punctuality. This mental shortcut, while initially efficient, leads them astray, trapping them in a familiar pattern of tardiness.
Additionally, when confronted with feedback or criticism about their lateness, they may exhibit confirmation bias, dismissing or downplaying the significance of their behavior. Furthermore, their familiarity bias reinforces their habitual lateness, as they cling to the comfort of their established routine rather than confronting the need for change. These cognitive processes perpetuate their mistakes, hindering their ability to recognize and address their behavior.
Yet, amidst the complexities of human cognition, there lies a glimmer of hope. Research in neuroscience has identified mechanisms of cognitive control—mental faculties that enable us to override shortcuts and learn from our mistakes. By cultivating self-awareness and embracing a growth mindset, we can harness the power of cognitive control to break free from the cycle of repetition.
After experiencing the devastating consequences of unchecked nationalism and aggression during World War II, Germany embarked on a path of reconciliation and peacebuilding, becoming a leading advocate for European unity and cooperation. By acknowledging its past atrocities and actively pursuing diplomacy and international cooperation, Germany demonstrated a profound commitment to learning from history and fostering a more peaceful future.
So, how can we learn from our mistakes and forge a new path forward? As Winston Churchill famously remarked,
“Those that fail to learn from history are doomed to repeat it.”
By journalling our errors in a “Book of Errors,” we create a tangible record of our missteps, illuminating the patterns of thought and behavior that lead us astray.
Such a manual would serve as a guide for self-reflection and growth, prompting us to confront our cognitive biases and challenge our assumptions. With each entry into our Book of Errors, we etch the reality of our fallibility into our consciousness, empowering us to make more informed choices in the future.
In the words of Nelson’s protagonist, “I walk down another street.” With each step forward, guided by the wisdom gained from our past mistakes, we embark on a journey of self-discovery and transformation. Through humility, introspection, and a willingness to embrace change, we can transcend the confines of repetition and chart a new course toward personal and collective growth.
By Farah Naz
|| features@algarveresident.com
Farah Naz is a UK trained psychotherapist of more than 30 years and is a Clinical Hypnotherapist. She has worked with thousands of people globally for a range of issues. Farah has trained doctors, teachers and health workers on stress management. Currently, she has an online international practice and a private practice in the Algarve. www.iamfarah.com email: info@iamfarah.com
