So, where were we? Oh yes, we were talking about how our emotions, feelings and thoughts colour our moods. As promised, I’ve put some information from my favourite authors, professors and scientists together to get to the bottom of the conundrum we call ‘moods’. Why conundrum? Read and find out.
Let’s start with Professor Paul Ekman who investigated emotions in our facial expressions. In his book Emotions Revealed, Understanding Faces and Feelings (2003), he writes, “unlike our emotions, our moods are not displayed in our facial expressions or in our voices, however, we generally know when someone is in a mood by the signs of the underlying emotion that floods the mood.”
He goes on to explain how intense emotional experiences can set off our moods. It’s easy to understand that irritable moods are the result of intense anger, just like a euphoric mood is the result of intense joy; because we can clearly recognise the underlying emotions and know why we are experiencing them.
Our angry moods are the foundations for intense long-lasting anger. What do we do with this anger? What do you do when you’re in an angry mood? Recognise any of the following? Little or no interest in anything except what you’re angry about, no motivation, uncompromising, demanding and more.
These attitudes, although ‘normal’ when we’re in ‘anger mode’, make it very difficult for us to function properly. You see, when we’re not interested, we don’t care. Not caring leads us to difficult situations with important people in our lives; more trouble in relationships, disputes with colleagues, responsibilities not being carried out … no motivation = ditto, as well as having trouble sleeping, sleeping or staying in bed longer, causing ‘more’ arguments, not eating properly, etc. Being stubborn and demanding only leads to upsetting everyone around us, including, again, the most important people in our lives.
Are we all seeing the pattern here? The circle of stressors being created? One stressor leads to a series of complicated stressors all focused on disrupting and destroying our own health and wellbeing. We really are sometimes our own worst enemies.
Unfortunately, an angry mood is not the only kind we are susceptible to. Blue moods (sad moods) can quickly trigger unhappiness, despair, sadness, hopelessness, dejection, misery – in short, depression, for those of us who are predisposed. Sad moods are all about rejection by loved ones, loss of any kind, especially loved ones, property, marriage and self-esteem.
The sadness of any kind of loss can overlap with agony. Agony is intense sadness mixed with anger; we usually experience this when we feel our loss was unjust. Professor Ekman (same book) tells us that “when we are in agony, we try to actively deal with the source of our loss. In sadness, we have resigned ourselves to the loss and feel hopeless”. Depression is this ‘resignation’; the sadness is always lurking even when we experience joy and happiness, its lurking in the background waiting for a ‘blue mood’ opportunity to arise.
At some point in all our lives, we will experience a blue mood. When we do, it would be helpful to examine why we are feeling sadness, agony and loss. Only by going back and finding the cause can we eventually escape our blue moods.
Moods set us up for more of the same emotion of the mood we’re in. A bad one will trigger a negative emotion; sadness, anger, fear, etc. A happy one will trigger a positive emotion; joy, happiness, hopefulness, etc. We see here that it’s not just a stressful situation, event or person that directs a trigger to an emotion; moods do this too. They set us off, fire us up and, in the case of a blue mood, take us down.
We generally never think about why we’re in a mood, or why we’re getting emotional. It is time we started! It would do us a lot of good.
Here’s the deal: like our stress response, we never really think about the biological, physiological and psychological processes our moods activate or why and how we respond to these activations. Hopefully, from now on, we will pay more attention to our moods and emotions, and understand that our negative moods are directing us to our negative emotions, which, in turn, are directing us to our stress responses, which, in turn, are directing us to specific stressors; most likely chronic stressors, which, if not resolved, can continue to cause havoc to our health and happiness.
And here is the conundrum. Moods get us into a lot of trouble, “they muddle our thinking, limit our choices and, in severe cases, upset our lives for no explainable or acceptable reason. Moods have no real purpose for our health and wellbeing and may actually be an unintended consequence of our emotional structure”. (Professor Paul Ekman, Emotions Revealed Understanding Faces and Feelings, 2003)
The most important information on moods is that they stop us from interacting with the important things and people in our lives and they always trigger emotions that direct us to specific stressors. It’s difficult to get out of a mood; sometimes doing what we enjoy can help, but not always. What will help is realising that all our negative moods, emotions, feelings and thoughts lead us back to our stress responses, which, in turn, lead us to our chronic and acute stressors that need to be resolved, accepted, reduced and managed. Acknowledging this may help us focus on resolving our long-term stressors and gaining a much better quality of life. Maybe, after all, moods do have a purpose for our health and wellbeing.
Dr Daniel Goleman, Emotional Intelligence (2009): “When we average out our thoughts and emotions; our moods, over the long-term we can determine our sense of wellbeing. Downs as well as ups give spice to our lives, but these need to be in balance. It is the ratio of positive to negative emotions and moods that determines our sense of wellbeing.”
By Joan Maycock
Joan Maycock MSc Health Psychologist specialising in designing, setting up and presenting Stress and Burnout Educational Retreats, Workshops and 1 on 1 sessions on Stress Response, Stress-Illness Link and De-Stressing for business owners, directors and staff in Ireland and Portugal.
Telephone 00351-915793592 Email: mindsynergyint@proton.me
