I have observed that there is nothing particularly amazing about having siblings. However, we don’t have much of a choice in the matter because our parents, nature, and God are more involved in this evolution process than us anyway. So, before we know it, the stork brings the baby home, and we are introduced to them as brothers or sisters.
Nevertheless, positioning is very important in a family, with the oldest, youngest, and the middle order, having their own positives and negatives. My heart goes out to the eldest child in every household as some of them do not have a childhood of their own at all, because when they themselves need to be babied, they are expected to be responsible for their younger siblings. It is just one of those unwritten universal rules that no one gets down to actually questioning.
I have seen two-year-old toddlers getting off from their prams, and offering it to their little brothers or sisters, along with sharing their pacifiers, rattles, toys and even, mashed food. The older ones become the natural frontrunners, and get used to having others listen to their bidding.
Some of them carry on in this manner even when they are adults. They do not realize that their manner is dictatorial, because they have acted like that from a very early age. They also do not understand why their behaviour is construed as overpowering or controlling.
Conversely, the youngest child in a brood never really grows up. They get so used to someone watching over them that they find it difficult to think for themselves. Leaving all the decision making to others, they know that to get out of a sticky situation, all they need to do is call out.
The middle children, on the other hand, are a most confused lot. Not happy to lead, nor be able to blindly follow, they carry a sense of maladjustment about themselves that they mostly overcome in the long run, but some find it difficult to do so.
In this broad spectrum, there is also the dynamics of having siblings of different gender and their equation with one another. It is a proven fact that men raised around sisters are more demonstrative, affectionate and fashion conscious whereas women raised around brothers are less shy, squeamish or reserved.
Personally, I have two siblings – one older and the other younger. My elder brother was just three when I was born and my fiercest babyhood battles were fought with him – where some of my dolls were beheaded and his toy cars crushed. But he went on to become my friend, philosopher and guide, teaching me swimming, fishing, rifle shooting, riding, singing and the expert use of chopsticks.
My younger brother made a rather unplanned entry into our lives when I was six years old. One evening we were taken to watch a movie, while our mother was getting treated at a clinic, and the next day she presented us with him.
Therefore suddenly, he became the centre of everyone’s attention. Six days later I tried to return him to the hospital.
“You can’t give him back,” my dad said.
“Why not?” I asked.
“He is your brother, you have to look after him,” he instructed.
“For how long?” I enquired.
“The rest of your life,” he replied.
“He will also break my dolls,” I cried bursting into tears.
“He will mend everything, you will see,” my father placed him in my lap.
And that is how the bond started.
By Nickunj Malik
|| features@portugalresident.com
Nickunj Malik’s journalistic career began when she walked into the office of Khaleej Times newspaper in Dubai thirty-one years ago and got the job. Since then, her articles have appeared in various newspapers all over the world. She now resides in Portugal and is married to a banker who loves numbers more than words.
