By: MARGARET BROWN
Margaret Brown is one of The Resident’s longest standing contributors and has lived in the Algarve for more than 20 years. As well as Point of View, she also writes Country Matters twice a month.
IT HAS been said that to forgive is to set a prisoner free and in so doing perhaps to find that the prisoner is none other than oneself.
Deep seated resentment cannot be papered over with the words ‘I am sorry’ nor has the thorn been removed from the offended person’s soul. The wound, like an aching tooth, will give perverse satisfaction as it continues to fester. When nursing anger or resentment against somebody for causing real or imagined harm we are damaging our own spiritual health, and the longer it continues, the harder it will be to resolve.
Looking honestly at a situation may expose similar tendencies in our own behaviour: once recognised, rather than be angry with ourselves we turn upon the offender and encourage our friends to do the same. Any body of people united by a common interest whether it is a sports club, church, smoothly operating office or a thousand and one other social groups, can be torn apart within weeks by gossip and half-truths.
Forgiveness
A hint of wrongdoing, a whisper multiplied along the local grapevine and in no time sides have been taken, blame apportioned and friendships broken.
It is difficult to truly forgive and if we do there is no guarantee the other person wants our absolution, instead choosing to act as before: this is the real test. It helps if one has faith in a caring God who would have us ‘Forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you’, a council of perfection to be found in Paul’s Letter to the Ephesians that is so hard to follow. It has taken me decades to learn how to forgive real or imagined hurts: and with forgiveness comes peace and a greater acceptance of oneself. As written in the Gospel of Luke ‘Why look at the speck of sawdust in your Brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye’?
