By David Lewis features@algarveresident.com
David Lewis lives in Praia da Luz with his wife Shirley, and two children, Ollie and Fraser. Having spent more than 25 years in the City of London, he is now Financial Services Manager with the Oceânico Group.
For a while, a couple of weeks ago, there was only one subject dominating the headlines in the world’s press.
Not the mountain of debt that we, and our children, will spend the next decade or two struggling to pay back, nor the effects of global warming (which, confusingly, seem to veer somewhere between being too hot, or perhaps too cold, or even too wet or too dry, all of which, it would seem, can be attributed to climate change. I dare say that it won’t be long before British Rail claims that delays are being caused by “adverse ozone conditions”).
Nor even was it due to the latest crisis to affect that angel of Britain, Cheryl Cole, as she suffers terribly having been infected by an extremely nasty and poisonous insect. But enough of Ashley.
No, the cause of all this hand-wringing and column inches of opinion was THAT goal. The one which Frank Lampard “scored” against a rampant German team in the World Cup, which was clearly at least a yard over the line and which significantly affected the result.
Namely that, had it been allowed, we’d have lost by a more respectable 4-2, rather than the three goal drubbing we deserved.
Now, I am going to say something that, frankly, I never thought I would hear myself say – that the use of technology is, quite clearly, long overdue in the world’s most popular game.
In cricket, we seem to be able to insert tiny cameras into stumps, to predict, with a high degree of accuracy, whether a ball will pass slightly over the bails or will thunder into them like some B-list celebrity in Hole in the Wall.
In rugby, I think we all now know how to indicate to the off-field official that we want to see a replay – it’s a bit like indicating that you are about to illustrate a famous TV show during a family game of charades (yes, I am indeed that old).
Even at that haven for old fogies, Wimbledon, players are each given three “challenges” which enable them to conduct a computer-aided review of a ball’s flight, generally accompanied, for some reason, by a rising “Oooooh” from the enraptured crowd.
In football, however, one of the world’s most cash-soaked sports, a game-changing decision appears to be left to the eyesight of a chap from Uruguay standing over 30 metres away from where the action takes place and is completely over in approximately 0.0003 nanoseconds.
Now, I am no great expert but even I can’t understand why the sport doesn’t take advantage of the available goal-line technology.
The wonderful thing is that, nowadays, gadgets and gizmos are so small that they can be used almost anywhere and for a whole range of different purposes.
In my day (by the way, is anyone else out there getting completely fed up with the irritating use of a new phrase that seems to have infected our language – namely “Back in the day”? I am not entirely sure who it was that first conjured up this pretentious expression but therein lies one very good reason, in my book, to keep Guantanamo Bay spick and span and ready for a new inmate).
Anyway, as I was saying, in my day, the only people who used hidden cameras were James Bond and Robert Vaughan in The Man from Uncle. Nowadays of course, just about anyone engaged in any form of voyeuristic activity seems to have a selection of minute cameras secreted about their person or, perhaps in slightly larger form, perched atop the highest poles in order to help maintain civil obedience.
Could this fantastic technology not be used to better effect elsewhere? For example, I’d like to see cameras hidden in call centres so that, when I see the spotty oik handling my car insurance picking his nose and studying the contents while I am trying to explain that my particular version of the Ford Escort came with a factory fitted alarm, I can remind him just who is paying his wages.
Maybe we could pop them into the Inland Revenue offices back in the UK so that I can watch my incoming call being studiously ignored while the staff chat about last night’s Eastenders.
The use for new technology is almost mind-blowing in its potential. Aside from cameras, how about we find a way to administer a mild electric shock to any shop assistant who chooses to ignore you for absolutely no good reason other than to read the newspaper.
Or a simple device that immediately refunds the entire purchase price directly to your bank account should your new electrical goods come complete with instructions that can only be read if you are fluent in Japanese.
Better still, a device that gives a short sharp rap on the knuckles every few seconds to bank managers around the world. No real reason for the last one other than it makes me smile.
The point is that, in many cases, today’s technology can be used in ways never previously considered. It does now seem that even that protector of the ancient traditions, Sepp Blatter, can see the need to consider its use in the beautiful game and has authorised a review to consider the options open to FIFA.
Let’s hope that common sense prevails. That way, maybe the motto for the next World Cup in Brazil will be Vorsprung Durch Technik, rather than “He should have gone to Specsavers”.
