For foreigners in Portugal, the process has additional complications and dimensions, which I will take a look at today, as we ponder the inescapable with a blend of gravity and levity, in a handy little guide.
There are many markers and heralds of the stage of life in question today: the milestones that clock up the years, the distance travelled in relation to the sun. Whether it’s that moment your knees are noisier than the music when you hit the dancefloor, you suddenly notice you’re struggling to get up (from floor, chair or bed), or are welcoming grandchildren into your mix – one of the more pleasurable, albeit bitter-sweet sentinels of compounding maturity – the signs are irrefutable, unstoppable.
Retirement itself, from work, or to another country as many readers here will have done, also speaks of later life, and the likely need to pivot from the fast and furious ways of our younger selves into perhaps a slower and steadier pace that might help us ‘win’ the race of our lives, which we ultimately find was only ever a race against ourselves.
“Age never comes alone,” it’s said, so why shouldn’t we enjoy the life-enhancing bonus of wisdom and freeing realisations, along with the more physical twinges, questionable memory, and trapped wind?
Into our rough, but hopefully thought-provoking and action-inspiring guide today then, where I have three ‘i’s for you. These I issue by way of assuaging any discomfort and distilling key messages that might make the bitter pill of decrepitude easier to swallow, or even unleash a distinguished majesty, or the seasoned attractiveness of an exemplary elder. This is down to each of us, ultimately, in the important choices we make, and the very real decisions we take.
The first ‘i’ is INITIATION, which has at least two useful meanings in this context. As a noun, ageing can be an initiation into a new position or status in life, where we can self-ordain and bestow upon ourselves a sense of responsibility, to ourselves and others.
Approached like this, ageing is something gracefully embraced and not awkwardly avoided; respectable rather than embarrassing, in a world desperately crying out for role models and not more ‘oldest swingers in town’, as my dad used to say (when the word had a different meaning).
As a verb, we might also initiate all the things we know we must for a healthy older age, where knowing what we shoulddo for our bodies is not the same as getting on with it. How much longer will we wait to enact all those fitness-giving, body-worshipping, and life-extending ideas that are around us in abundance, but useless if not put into practice? If you want to perpetuate, initiate, you might say, whilst remembering too that it’s quality of life we are aiming for, as well as quantity.
The second ‘i’ is INTEGRATION, an especially important matter for us foreigners looking at spending our last (and hopefully many yet) days in Portugal. Learn the language and study the culture as best you can. For when the worst of our days come, we might be glad we learned at least the basics of communication in Portuguese and were culturally appropriate when seeking medical help or emergency assistance, not wishing we had done more when younger, when suddenly and tragically up against the odds.
Integrate also with other expats, who – if you are, or might end up, alone in Portugal one day – can advocate on your behalf, walk your dog, or do the things you are suddenly unable to do. For more on this difficult stuff, much of which we don’t want to look at, see the great work of Joy Goldman, Amelie Sangmo and many other volunteers at www.vamosbem.pt; as well as the growing number of mutually supportive communities who are proactively and positively looking at the eminently manageable processes of living, ageing and dying in Portugal.
My third ‘i’, if you’ve not been put off this far with what might feel like morbid concerns, though, you might grant me, necessary at some point (unless you’re leaving this to unsuspecting others), is INVESTMENT.
Beyond the obvious, as in the material investments needed to make your life work and make ends meet, it looks to me like the time has come to invest in other realms of our life that are subtler, though no less powerful, that offer other ‘yields’.
Consider investing not only financially, if you are fortunate enough to do so, but physically and socially, as our previous ‘i’s have indicated. Invest in your body’s capacity and capability to carry you into the future with love and respect. Yes, we drink and love Portuguese wine, and delight in the country’s delicious pastries, but we must also find an appropriate measure when it comes to such heavenly hedonism!
Why binge our way to early incapacity and dysfunction, when we might savour such treats, growing old disgracefully yet mindfully, working within our miraculous bodies’ limits in the ‘long run’, which, of course, will be downgraded to a hearty stroll as time passes.
Invest too socially. It’s easy to become isolated as an immigrant with a small social circle, where cliques can form and atmospheres polarise. Why not stretch your social ‘gene pool’ to include Portuguese neighbours and friends, who might help enrich your language skills and cultural awareness? Social capital is where it’ll be at, I suspect, as the whole native population ages with us, in a demographic shift where resources will be spread ever thinner and goodwill will mean as much as ready cash.
So, invest, integrate and initiate as you age, my friend. And alongside the pills and wills, make time for thrills as I will be, that are also vitally important to our sense of wellbeing and vitality. Those of you closer to 50 have time to get your mind, body and soul around these ideas. For others, each and every day becomes an increasingly mindful blessing. It’s never too soon to take a calm and practical look at the realities of ageing, just as it’s never too late to have a great life. And a little bit of attention now could give you a lot of value later.
Carl Munson’s previous article: The United Nations of Portugal: A powerful possibility (or at least a great festival)
